Sunday, November 10, 2013

Confessions of a Lazy Dreamer

So yeah, this was a bad idea. Blogging five years ago was new and pedestrian. These days it's scarily professional, and people who have day jobs seem to somehow also have blogs that kick ass. This dawned on me about three weeks ago, and I haven't blogged since. Because I'm self-conscious, competitive and lazy - a triple threat, if you will.

I suck. I haven't posted a Fun Fact Friday in over a month. I haven't posted weekly pics that give updates on what size fruit the baby most resembles along with my cravings and weight gain stats, ala a chick like this:
I haven't been writing comedy. I've barely been baking, and it seems that when I do, I suck at it. I'm not going to even waste your time with the details of my Animal Cracker Sugar Cookies Fiasco or my Pumpkin Streusel Coffeecake Fail. Don't ask. The point is, I suck, I'm tired and I can't compete with the "Cup of Jo's" and the "Joy the Baker's" of the world. And that's okay. Because their are some people with real problems, and maintaining a super cool and widely popular blog isn't one of them. I'm old enough to know that perfection is not a reality. Sure, I could fool myself into imagining that I'm finally going to be the perfect woman. You know, the woman who wakes up at 4:00 am every morning to workout (running/weights and yoga, alternating days). Who is showered, exfoliated, moisturized and made up before the baby wakes. The woman who hand mashes her own organic baby food and sews her own bibs. Who works a nine hour day and still has energy at the end of it to cook, clean and be sexy all at the same time. You know, this woman:
I'm not Maria Kang, you know, the mom who posted this "What's Your Excuse Ad on her fitness website that some are saying is fat shaming? Yeah, I'm not her, and I'm okay with that. She doesn't look like she's the kind of person who enjoys delicious food or glutinous amounts of sleep, and I can't support that.
I could pretend I will magically become a perfect person, but why set myself up for failure? Instead, I'm going to commit to doing the best I can. End of story. Right now, the best I can do is check in with this blog every couple of weeks and throw a baby bump shot your way. You're fine with that, right? I mean after all, we're friends, and friends know that sometimes friends suck.

So here's what I got for now. I'm 23 weeks pregnant. The baby is the size of a large mango. I've recently felt his/her kicks and they bring me a ton of joy and a pinch of panic, like everything baby-related does these days. I've yet to gain a pound, although the baby is exactly the size she/he should be, thanks to my voluptuous figure - yay, fat stores! I crave juicy fruit (watermelon, grapes, pineapple) and fruity juice (100% Cherry mixed with sparkling water is my $*#t). I'm currently completely happy with my imperfections, because I know that this little bean is sprouting this very moment.
el bebe at 20 weeks!
What more could a lucky girl want? 
xoxo tay

1 comment:

  1. are way to hard on yourself and talk about women in your blog that I have never met or ever want to meet. They are not real. What is real is you recognizing that you can't do everything you want to and that is ok. You are pregnant for the first time in your life and that is all that really matters right now. Lighten up honey and enjoy every second, minute, hour, day, and months as the miracle of life grows within you. I love you.