The list is long, and if I were to analyze each bullet point I would certainly find a healthy dose of bull shit reasoning behind several of these notions. But let's not waste time analyzing the past. It's so passé.
I quit stand-up comedy because...
- I'm not a night owl. I'm also surprisingly shy, so hanging out with strangers in a small room at the back of a night club at eleven o'clock at night while nervously awaiting my set was my own personal nightmare.
- Being an elementary school teacher, I could never commit to weeknight shows. Mama doesn't mess around on school nights.
- The energy it took to prep for a seven minute set was about a million times longer than seven minutes. Output/input people, output/input.
- I was doing "Bringer" shows. Those are shows that you book with a club manager because you're a decent comic, but more importantly, because you agree to "bring" a large group of friends to the show. I hated the pressure of having to drag my friends to come see me even more than I hated the fact that my friends had to schlep across Hollywood, pay $20 for parking and buy at least two over-priced and watered-down cocktails in order to show their support. That said, I have awesome friends, and I am eternally grateful for every ounce of schlepping that was done.
- This one is going to sound totally obnoxious, but it's the truth: I was sick of doing shows with people that weren't funny. I'm not saying I'm the next ________(fill in the blank with your favorite comedienne), but there's some crappy comedy out there, and this girl has her pride.
- And last but not least, I wasn't making any money doing it. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to do it for the money but for the love. I agree with that sentiment to an extent. I wasn't trying to be a millionaire, or even pay my bills. But I was at least hoping to (after time, energy and gas money) make a teensy-weensy profit, like, I don't know, enough cash to go to Target and buy a new scarf. Never happened.
So that's it folks. Next time I'll post about my plans to get back. I'm not sure stand-up is the route for me, but I know that slinging one-liners at my husband for the rest of my days can't be the extent of my comedy writing. If it is, I'm sure to become a sad, bitter woman (assuming I'm not one already). Tee hee.